I'm sorry, future children of mine.

Every culture has their oddities to other cultures.
That's why we're not all one big culture. Thank goodness.


So I went skiing on Sunday. My second time skiing. You know when you learn how to ride a bike and the skill is never supposed to leave you? Well, skiing is apparently a skill that leaves. Because I remembered nothing from the last time I went skiing in high school.
It took me 3 tries to get on the ski lift the first time - one try involved me barely hanging on and thinking I was successful until the man at the bottom yelled up that I'd left my ski sticks behind.
And every time I got off the lift I would start sliding back down and so crash myself to keep from having to redo the lift again. So after the first 15 minutes my backside was several feet of wet and ice and snow...
After a couple hours of falling and learning how to turn without breaking my knees and getting encouraging nods from fellow skiiers, me and my colleague, Natalie, took our skis back down to the ski house.
"Ay!" exclaimed the man collecting our skis. "Your children will be deformed!"
Natalie and I look at each other confusedly. Then a spark of remembrance in our eyes: Walking barefoot, sitting on the floor, and any other way that you could remotely be exposing your ovaries to cold and floor means that you are killing your ovaries.
My icy snowy backside was killing my ovaries!
"You will have to come back with your children so I can make sure they're ok!" said the man as we left, half joking, half worried.